When I first entered into a biracial relationship, I was approached with many concerns by those close to me. One of the strongest was: what about the children? Regardless of how we would like to think everyone should be treated, or how we might choose to treat others ourselves, it is impossible to ignore that prejudice and discrimination are alive and well in the world.
So the question is posed: It may be a beautiful thing that you can love someone of a different skin color as you would anyone else, but what about the prospective children? I was asked: was I really okay with the thought of bringing these children into the world, when I could be sure I was plunging them straight into a world of certain discrimination? Why would anyone knowingly put their children through that?
It is ironic but true that one must think of his children before himself even before they exist. It certainly wasn’t fair to dive into a relationship just because I thought it was what I wanted, without considering the possible outcome and everyone it would affect.
But I never took relationships lightly, and what it came down to was this: I cared more about the man himself who would father my kids, in terms of what kind of a father he would be and the amazing potential he had for raising them. Bringing children into the world could be called cruel on any account; there is always going to be certain pain in it. But it is more about surrounding them with the kind of support and guidance they need close to home, where they will build foundations and grow as people, not as victims.
At least, this is what matters to me. That is what is most important to me, the family I want, and the values that will kick things off and surround them as they grow. Roots are important. If the foundation is strong enough, they will be stronger against the battles of the world.