How to Piss Off a Racist

1) Be anything other than their race and hang around them a lot.

2) Wear giant airbrushed T-shirts of 50 Cent and shoot some b-ball outside of their school.

3) Say “Yo homes” around them a lot.

4) Get really tan and talk about how you love dark skin so much.

5) Call the racist person the “N word” and laugh at them.

6) Get license plates that say something like “Fresh”.

7) Say “I’m sorry for your ignorance” and leave it at that.

8) Tell them “You’re white but I don’t hate you”, even if you’re white.

9) Patronize them about how they absolutely should be racist, “…because after all, all the unintelligent people are racist”.

10) Vote for Barrack Obama (just kidding, that would be bad for America). TELL them you’re voting for Obama.

11) Sag your pants every time you’re around them and blare 50 Cent on the radio.

12) When they walk by, tell them you love black people and smile.

13) When they’re around and your friend is near, lean in to your friend and point at the racist person and say, “That’s the racist kid I was telling you about.”

14) Incorporate “I have a dream” into all your conversations when you’re around them.

15) Date someone who is your opposite in color.

16) Explain to them how Dalmatians are your favorite animal, especially since they exhibit black and white fur… especially when they tell you to shut up.

17) Find out their e-mail and subscribe them to anti-racist newsletters and send them anti-racist websites.

18) Take photos of black people and white people hanging out and being friends and put the pictures on their locker.

19) Tell them, “I accept and love you for who you are!”

20) Tell them they probably had black ancestors since life originated in Jerusalem (not Mesopotamia) and people traveled all over since then.

21) Write articles on the problems of racism today and hand them to the racist person insisting “that they really should take a look a this and consider it”.

22) Encourage a group of your black friends to beat up one of the racist kid’s friends who isn’t involved.

23) Talk Ebonics loudly around the racist person and keep trying to talk to him when he tries to walk away.

24) Remind them that it’s the white person’s fault that black people are in America anyway. Then, mention that he should go thank a white person for their wonderful contribution.

25) Rave about Michael Jordan all day long.