My Father, Race & Gang Violence

Sometimes I cannot help but wonder who my biological father is. Somewhere out there, somebody who shares my genes is roaming. Did he leave intentionally or is he not even aware of my existence? How did my father come to meet my mother, by what circumstances? Was it consensual or forced? Am I the product of sexual abuse? Nobody seems comfortable answering and so I’ve long since stopped asking, but the question remains. For the most part I’ve managed to block it out, but as is evident in this post, it eventually finds it’s way back into my mind. Who knows, maybe he’s deceased or maybe he’s a successful businessman. I don’t know.

I’ve found myself reading a lot about race lately. From the supposed dangers of a multi-cultural society, the existence of ‘race’ in a scientific sense and any genetic differences between the races. Most recently it was confirmed that modern humans migrating from Africa interbred with Neanderthal man. I may have read wrong or misunderstood since I am no way that knowledgeable in matters of evolution and biology, but apparently, Neanderthal DNA was found in all races except the people of Africa. This would indicate that there is some difference between Africans, and all other races. However significant or insignificant that difference is, I cannot say.

I make an honest effort to not label things as white or black, but societal norms often lead me to just give in. Am I a black person trying to be white because I distance myself from negative black stereotypes? What is a person’s blackness, or whiteness? Am I a self-hating race traitor because I am not attracted to the black women in general, but instead prefer Latina and white females? Am I denouncing my ‘black heritage’ because I identify more with my Hispanic side? Why must a person of mixed heritage ‘claim’ one side to identify with? Is everything racist as Jesse Jackson would lead you to believe? He’s probably right, but the one inciting racism is Jesse Jackson himself. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I do not recall even one instance in which Jesse Jackson marched for a white victim who was the target of racism by a black person. Indeed, it seems Jackson is more anti-white than he is anti-racism. To stamp out racism, the logical solution would be to attack it at whichever end it is coming from. You cannot expect equal rights when you continuously attack the same offender, yet protect your own (by not speaking out) when they’re guilty of the same deed.

I really dislike gang members. One perk of being a social retard is that I haven’t had to be exposed to these animals for an extended period of time in over a year. I’m sure I will once I’m thrust back into the real world, but I’ve enjoyed my vacation very much, kind of. In high school, these privileged kids who lived in a suburb wanted nothing more than to live the gangster lifestyle. It was cool to them, and apparently they were mesmerized by the constant glamorization of this societal cancer in rap music and pop culture. Gang culture has wrought nothing but torment and transformed once thriving communities into abysses of depravity. Everyday it is either a gang member shot and killed by a rival, or an innocent 4-year old child caught between gang crossfire, and subsequently having half his head blown off. What did that kid do to deserve that? I can’t count the number of news stories I’ve heard that involve an innocent man being murdered by a gang simply because he matched the profile of a known rival gang member. It really is a sad and infuriating world, and yet these privileged kids think it’s cool to be ‘gangstas’. Why can’t they channel their enthusiasm into something positive? These people were consistently the stupidest people I have ever come across. Their vocabulary consists of “homie”, “ni–a”, blood”, “cuz” “cuhhh” (It is evident that some crips have a speech impediment that leaves them unable to pronounce cuz), and “esse”. The brightest of the bunch even have the intellectual maturity to add ‘holms’ to their repertoire.

To paraphrase the great Dave Leweiski (from the film, Kick Ass), “everybody wants to be 50 Cent but nobody wants to be Spider Man.”